Over the last eight weeks I have learned a lot about my own personal schema and how it has affected my communication skills. I have learned to be mindful and "other oriented" as well as how to be a better active listener. To collaborate successfully as a team takes trust, cooperation as well as coordination. I learned about the three R's of conflict resolution and how to read non verbal interactions.
I want to thank each and every one of my colleagues who have given me insight through the discussion and comments on my personal blog. We have shared personal information and built online relationships that I will truly miss. I hope some of you will be moving on to Teaching Adults in the Early Childhood Field specialization with me. My wish for you is that you will take what we have learned in this class and transfer it to your personal life as well as your professional life working with families, children, and building collaborative teams that can make a difference.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Team Building and Collaboration
During the adjourning phase the group that I found the hardest to leave was the one where we had the clearest established norms. Having established roles help to develop supportive relationships and collaboration because it is easier to build trust when we respect each others opinions and value their differences. Also, we work off of each others strengths to build a more solid team that can accomplish goals.
The closing rituals that I have experienced include having a potluck in honor of the group as a thank you, having a recognition ceremony, or meeting socially in a central location where each group member is more relaxed to close out the project. In my previous job we had a hard time adjourning because we had established norms and specific roles that were respected by all. My previous colleages and I had such a great working relationship that we still get together several times a year to keep in touch.
I imagine it will be somewhat difficult to leave my online relationships that I have built. I find comfort in seeing familiar names enrolled in each of my classes, and I tend to answer the posts of them more often than those I do not know as well. There is some comfort in sharing history with others along the way through class participation, and it would be nice to stay in touch with some of my classmates after we graduate.
Adjourning is such an essential stage of teamwork because we need to reflect on what worked and did not work in order to learn from mistakes or celebrate our accomplishments. Additionally, the adjourning stage gives us some closure which is important so that we can move on to another goal or project.
The closing rituals that I have experienced include having a potluck in honor of the group as a thank you, having a recognition ceremony, or meeting socially in a central location where each group member is more relaxed to close out the project. In my previous job we had a hard time adjourning because we had established norms and specific roles that were respected by all. My previous colleages and I had such a great working relationship that we still get together several times a year to keep in touch.
I imagine it will be somewhat difficult to leave my online relationships that I have built. I find comfort in seeing familiar names enrolled in each of my classes, and I tend to answer the posts of them more often than those I do not know as well. There is some comfort in sharing history with others along the way through class participation, and it would be nice to stay in touch with some of my classmates after we graduate.
Adjourning is such an essential stage of teamwork because we need to reflect on what worked and did not work in order to learn from mistakes or celebrate our accomplishments. Additionally, the adjourning stage gives us some closure which is important so that we can move on to another goal or project.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Non Violent Communication & Conflict Management
This summer I had a disagreement with my sister over my children, whom she felt were disturbing others as they were exploring in the creek out back of a vacation home. Keep in mind that she has only one daughter and is not use to boys at all! One thing I learned is that staying in one home with 5 of my siblings and their families was just too much. Before this, I had never had a conflict with any of my siblings (there are 8) and was considered the peace maker. I was not sure where all of this was coming from because my boys are just normally active boys in my opinion. I also know that she had been feeling overwhelmed with the chaos in the house so was a little stressed out prior to this.
Through taking this class I have learned that not all conflict is non productive, and infact can have a positive outsome. However, unproductive conflict can damage relationships when managed poorly as I found out. I think "power" dynamics played a big part because my sister is older than me and she does not think that I should have my own voice. Another problem was that she attacked my boys and their character. If she would have come to me in a respectful way I would have been more apt to listen instead of become defensive. Also, the climate was uncertain and I was unclear as to what all she was referring to, and when I asked clarifying questions it set her off because she thought that meant that I was calling her a liar. I finally relented and walked away which annoyed her too.
The productive side is that I have learned what changes I might need to make in the future, or what I need to avoid. As I look back I can see differerent strategies that I could have used to help resolve and defuse the situation. One of those strategies would have been to avoid verbal aggressiveness and keep the focus on the issue. Another strategy would have been to take on a more active listening part and wait until she was finished to ask clarifying questions instead of interupting. Also, I have learned that the way I ask the questions can either provoke or affirm. In addition, I could have used some of the principles of the third side such as seeking to first understand her side and find out what her goal was before I jumped to conclusions. Learning these strategies will allow me to communicate better and avoid certain confrontations in the future. I still think that it is easier to do when both parties are trying to use the NVC method instead of just one party.
Do any of you have any words of insight regarding conflict among adult siblings where your children are the focus? How do you keep from becoming defensive?
Through taking this class I have learned that not all conflict is non productive, and infact can have a positive outsome. However, unproductive conflict can damage relationships when managed poorly as I found out. I think "power" dynamics played a big part because my sister is older than me and she does not think that I should have my own voice. Another problem was that she attacked my boys and their character. If she would have come to me in a respectful way I would have been more apt to listen instead of become defensive. Also, the climate was uncertain and I was unclear as to what all she was referring to, and when I asked clarifying questions it set her off because she thought that meant that I was calling her a liar. I finally relented and walked away which annoyed her too.
The productive side is that I have learned what changes I might need to make in the future, or what I need to avoid. As I look back I can see differerent strategies that I could have used to help resolve and defuse the situation. One of those strategies would have been to avoid verbal aggressiveness and keep the focus on the issue. Another strategy would have been to take on a more active listening part and wait until she was finished to ask clarifying questions instead of interupting. Also, I have learned that the way I ask the questions can either provoke or affirm. In addition, I could have used some of the principles of the third side such as seeking to first understand her side and find out what her goal was before I jumped to conclusions. Learning these strategies will allow me to communicate better and avoid certain confrontations in the future. I still think that it is easier to do when both parties are trying to use the NVC method instead of just one party.
Do any of you have any words of insight regarding conflict among adult siblings where your children are the focus? How do you keep from becoming defensive?
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