Time Well Spent

I cannot believe we are at the end of this journey but only to embark upon another. Three deeply felt learnings that I have from this program is the key to success is knowing your passion and purpose in life. I also learned that it is critical to examine and respond to our own biases in order to respond adequately to others. Lastly, one person can make a difference, and everyone can inspire, but a community can accomplish so much more. One long term goal is that I will be an advocate on children's behalf for as long as I live, and to never let my passion die. My fairwell message to my colleagues is to keep the passion and believe that you can go out and make a difference. I will never forget the community that was built here and hope to connect with some of you one day. Thanks for all of your support and encouragement. To Dr. Myers, thank you for the positive feedback that I received as it gave me the drive to continue. I learned something from each and every class that I took and have high regards for this University. Here are two Quotes and a song that I leave you with. "The test of the Morality of a society is what they do for their children". Dietrich Bonhoeffer In America there is no "other people's children"- anonymous Here is a Song by Malvina Reynolds called "Little Boxes": And they all play on the golf course, and drink their martinis dry, and they all have pretty children, and the children go to school, And the children go to sumer camp, and then to the University, Where they put them all in boxes, and they come out all the same.

Jobs/Roles in the ECE Community: Internationally

The three international organizations that appeal to me is Save the Children at www.savethechildren.org, International Step by Step Association at www.issa.nl/index.html, and the Alliance for Childhood at www.allianceforchildhood.org. I was interested in Save the children because of their work rebuilding and restoring normalcy to children's lives after a disaster. One of their focus is to increase rural children's access to physical activities and nutrition which is in line with my Capstone challenge to restore play. Career options that I saw were emergency responders, education specialists, monitors and evaluators. Most of the jobs require specialized training or a teaching license. The International Step by Step Association was interesting because they form interest groups and task forces that work together on different issues related to children. Some of the jobs that I saw posted were translators and interpreters as well as an associate expert in the education field. The Alliance for childhood is an organization that I have always been interested in because of their play advocacy around the world. This is the website that I found the information on "playing out" which was a neighborhood play day that was started in England by two moms. This organization has helped individuals find their voice to go out and make a difference in their own neighborhood. I like the idea of ordinary people feeling confident and empowered to go out and actually do something. The best part is, there is not any special job requirements; just a passion to make a difference in the lives of children.

Jobs/Roles in the ECE Community: National/Federal Level

The three National Organizations that I chose is the U.S Alliance for Early Childhood, Alliance for Early Childhood U.K, and the European Alliance for Early Childhood. I chose them because they all have the same focus to restore play to earlychldhood. The U.S. Alliance has a mission to promote policies and practices that support children's healthy development for a love of learning, and the joy of living. Their public education campaign is to have a more just, democratic, ecologically responsible future. They also strive to make playgrounds more fun and accessible. Some communities have built playgrounds with themes that will appeal to more children; one that has been successful is one that teaches science. They also partner with pediatritions and other influential people in the community that can maked a difference. The alliance in the U.K. has a group of moms who started Street Play. Their mission is to provide safe access to informal play by setting up these street play dates,providing workshops for residence and parents, coordinating street organizers, providing free resources and advice, educating the community on the benefits of play,and working with policy makers to enable street play. The Alliance in Europe strives to improve the quality of childhood. Their focus is on the toxic effects of our cultural changes. More specifically, how the modern world is damaging our children and what we cando about it. I also like the CAYC because their mission is to let children play, as their focus is on birth through nine years of age. They provide professional development to those who care for children in any capacity. I chose all of these because their mission had a focus on play. It was interesting for me to see how other countries are addressing the lack of play issue. The one that was especially helpful was the street play that the mom's started in the U.k. You can see it on www.allianceforchildhood.org.uk It showed me that anyone can make change, and that is a job that is available to anyone. Other than that, I did not find any job opportunities but just becoming a member and being a part of a coalition. In order to be a part of these organizations or Alliances I think some experience in how children grow and learn would be important so that you can be an informed advocate. But, for the advocacy I read about, it did not take any prerequisite except to want the best quality childhood possible for our children.

Exploring Roles in teh ECE Community: Local and State Levels

I chose Child Care Aware of North East and North Central Kansas as the state organization to explore. This organization has a mission to help families find access to affordable, high quality childcare. They have several jobs in their organization including marketing and communications, finance, directors for quality initiatives, infant and toddler project managers, data and tech specialists, healthy kids coordinator and rating system specialists. I chose this organization because they are influential in my state and I believe in everything they are working for. Also the variety of jobs available gives more people a chance to collaborate with others. I did not see any job opportunities at the moment. The qualifications for most of these jobs is a B.S. degree in the related field. Another organization that I chose is our local Child & Resource Center Smart Start Program that I currently work for. I have been at this job for 5 years now and enjoy working with child care providers and center staff to help educate and improve their environment as well as their professional development opportunities. We currently have two positions open as Early Childhood Facilitators and the qualifications they are now looking for is a M.S. in ECE. The other job that I chose is the job of a professor at the university. I like this job because they collaborate with other organizations in our country as well as around the world. They are then able to do research that they can then try out in their lab preschool. I also like the teaching part of the job. I would have to have a PHD in order to do this and I do not see that happening. However, some staff for the undergraduates do have their M.S. degree's only. So, we will see what happens in the future. I do know that I would like to be involved with some kind of issue where I can actually make a difference and see change. Not that I do not get that on a smaller scale in my current job, because there are always success stories.

Capstone

I am excited to get started on the Capstone project. It has been a somewhat stressful beginning but I have hopes that it will become easier as the weeks progress.

Professional Thanks and Support

Over the last eight weeks I have learned a lot about my own personal schema and how it has affected my communication skills. I have learned to be mindful and "other oriented" as well as how to be a better active listener. To collaborate successfully as a team takes trust, cooperation as well as coordination. I learned about the three R's of conflict resolution and how to read non verbal interactions.

I want to thank each and every one of my colleagues who have given me insight through the discussion and comments on my personal blog. We have shared personal information and built online relationships that I will truly miss. I hope some of you will be moving on to Teaching Adults in the Early Childhood Field specialization with me. My wish for you is that you will take what we have learned in this class and transfer it to your personal life as well as your professional life working with families, children, and building collaborative teams that can make a difference.

Team Building and Collaboration

During the adjourning phase the group that I found the hardest to leave was the one where we had the clearest established norms. Having established roles help to develop supportive relationships and collaboration because it is easier to build trust when we respect each others opinions and value their differences. Also, we work off of each others strengths to build a more solid team that can accomplish goals.

The closing rituals that I have experienced include having a potluck in honor of the group as a thank you, having a recognition ceremony, or meeting socially in a central location where each group member is more relaxed to close out the project. In my previous job we had a hard time adjourning because we had established norms and specific roles that were respected by all. My previous colleages and I had such a great working relationship that we still get together several times a year to keep in touch.

I imagine it will be somewhat difficult to leave my online relationships that I have built. I find comfort in seeing familiar names enrolled in each of my classes, and I tend to answer the posts of them more often than those I do not know as well. There is some comfort in sharing history with others along the way through class participation, and it would be nice to stay in touch with some of my classmates after we graduate.

Adjourning is such an essential stage of teamwork because we need to reflect on what worked and did not work in order to learn from mistakes or celebrate our accomplishments. Additionally, the adjourning stage gives us some closure which is important so that we can move on to another goal or project.

Non Violent Communication & Conflict Management

This summer I had a disagreement with my sister over my children, whom she felt were disturbing others as they were exploring in the creek out back of a vacation home. Keep in mind that she has only one daughter and is not use to boys at all! One thing I learned is that staying in one home with 5 of my siblings and their families was just too much. Before this, I had never had a conflict with any of my siblings (there are 8) and was considered the peace maker. I was not sure where all of this was coming from because my boys are just normally active boys in my opinion. I also know that she had been feeling overwhelmed with the chaos in the house so was a little stressed out prior to this.

Through taking this class I have learned that not all conflict is non productive, and infact can have a positive outsome. However, unproductive conflict can damage relationships when managed poorly as I found out. I think "power" dynamics played a big part because my sister is older than me and she does not think that I should have my own voice. Another problem was that she attacked my boys and their character. If she would have come to me in a respectful way I would have been more apt to listen instead of become defensive. Also, the climate was uncertain and I was unclear as to what all she was referring to, and when I asked clarifying questions it set her off because she thought that meant that I was calling her a liar. I finally relented and walked away which annoyed her too.

The productive side is that I have learned what changes I might need to make in the future, or what I need to avoid. As I look back I can see differerent strategies that I could have used to help resolve and defuse the situation. One of those strategies would have been to avoid verbal aggressiveness and keep the focus on the issue. Another strategy would have been to take on a more active listening part and wait until she was finished to ask clarifying questions instead of interupting. Also, I have learned that the way I ask the questions can either provoke or affirm. In addition, I could have used some of the principles of the third side such as seeking to first understand her side and find out what her goal was before I jumped to conclusions. Learning these strategies will allow me to communicate better and avoid certain confrontations in the future. I still think that it is easier to do when both parties are trying to use the NVC method instead of just one party.

Do any of you have any words of insight regarding conflict among adult siblings where your children are the focus? How do you keep from becoming defensive?

Who Am I as a Communicator?

This week I learned that in most situations I am perceived as a moderate to elevated anxious communicator which is the way I also see myself. I am also seen as a people-oriented person who is empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. I would have to agree with this because this is how I have been my whole life. In the area of verbal aggression I was rated as moderate by a coworker and significant by my husband. I agree with my coworkers response because that is typically how I am.

The rating by my husband is what surprised me the most because I did not know that he perceived me as significantly aggressive most of the time. I would have to blame this partly on the fact that we have been married for 29 years and people just get comfortable with each other as well as let annoyances get the best of us. Plus, children, stress, and no time complicate things and sometimes our spouse gets the brunt of our frustrations.

Two insights that I have gained is that the "Platinum Rule" works better than the "Golden rule" by allowing us to consider others instead of only our needs. The other one is that I need to be more aware of my non-verbal cues as well as my verbal cues. These skills can both have just as much of an impact on my communication both personally and professionally when interacting with family members or community members.

Communication and Culture

When speaking with people from other cultures I try not to treat them any differently, but I sometimes will speak slower just to keep the pace of the conversation down because it sometimes takes me longer to understand them. I really do not like it when I see others speaking loudly to people from other cultures and I often wander why we sometimes can treat them like they are ignorant.

Based on what I have learned this week, three strategies I would use to communicate more effectively is:

1. Ask questions, pause and listen to them before responding.
2. Treat others the way you think they would want you to treat them.
3. Develop appropriate knowledge on the persons culture before you communicate with them

Communication Skills

The show that I observed was "Rules of Engagement". I had never seen it before or heard anything about it. The first interaction was between a woman and a man; he was sitting on the couch and she was standing to the side speaking to him. The man seemed to ignore her and did not make eye contact with her. The woman eventually went around behind him, smiled and bent down to hug him. The man did not have any expression or respond to her. The next interaction was between another couple. The man was speaking to the woman seemingly excited as she made faces, rolled her eyes,and shook her head back and forth.

Based on my observation I assumed that the first couple were brother and sister. With the next couple I assumed that he was trying to date her and she was just annoyed with him and did not want that kind of relationship.

Then I watched with the sound on and found out that the first couple were actually married but were having troubles, and the second assumption was pretty much the case except that they were friends who went on a hike together. What appeared to be things that might happen between couples who were dating were actually just incidents that appeared that way.

If I had known the characters in the story I would not have assumed any of these things. My assumptions were based on previous knowledge and experiences but they were not always accurate.

I learned that our assummptions are not always accurate and that focusing on non verbal skills can tell you how someone is feeling at that moment but it cannot tell us who they really are. So, again, we have to be careful about judging people based on our own experiences and assumptions because that does not tell the whole story.

Communication

I just had the privilege of listening to Gary Eagleton who is a consultant for Ruby K.Payne for "Bridges Out of Poverty". He spoke on the issue of poverty and how communities can help others get out from under the trenches of poverty.

I felt he was an effective speaker because he knew how to engage the audience by walking over to participants and asking them point blank questions using their first names, roaming around the room connecting with everyone, smiling, using strong voice, and telling personal stories that help relate and connect the audience to the topic. He came across as knowledgeable and credible because of his educational background and life experiences.

I would like to model my own behavior after him because I think that other adults get so much more out of a speaker that engages his audience and helps them connect to the topic by using relevant personal narratives. Also, it keeps their minds from wandering off the topic. However, some of his confidence comes from experience which can only come in time.

Professional Hopes and Goals

One hope that I have in regards to working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds is that I will treat all families with respect and make an effort to understand their own family culture and to make them feel they are vital and unique to their community. Just as Seifert said, "seek first to understand, then to be understood"(2007).

One goal that I have related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is that I can be an advocate to help educate others in my family, community, and professional life about the consequences of microaggressions and "isms" and teach them why change is necessary.

I want to take this time to thank all of my collegues for their comments and discussions with me both at the discussion board and in the blogs. I have gained much insight and with your help I feel as though I have begun my long journey towards change.

Welcoming Families From Around the World

My family will be coming from the country of Mali. To prepare to be culturally responsive to the family I will:

1. Gather information such as community organizations and other resources that will both teach me background informatiom on their country and give them resources of support to help them transition.

2. Learn key words from their home language to help the family feel more welcome and comfortable, as well as to foster a familiar environment for the child and let the family know that I will value and work to keep the home language alive in the classroom.

3. Learn about their customs, practices, and religion

4. find an interpreter who can accompany me on their initial visit to make them feel welcome and comfortable so that there are no language barriers.

5. Having an interpreter will allow me to find out more about their family culture such as gender roles, role of children, intergenerational relationships, and interdependence as well as strengths and challenges they might bring to the program.

Over all I hope these preparations will strengthen the parent/teacher relationship as well as foster a culturally positive classroom environment.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I have recently witnessed the bias and prejudice of my neices fiance. My niece who is white announced that she and her boyfriend who is african american are getting married next month. This is something totally new to my family since the only ethnic person is my sister in law who is a Native American. Her parents were in total shock at first because inter racial marriage is against their belief so they attempted to cut her off. When that did not work they realized that they did not want to lose her so they are making an attempt to get to know Toney. In the meantime, I have heard comments from family members like he is the typical black male who was not raised with a father, he is lazy and does not have any ambition, he is only marrying her because black men believe that white women are a prize like a trophy, I hope he is not abusive to her, she is going to lead a rough life. I am totally embarrassed that members of my own family would make stereotypical comments such as these and I almost did not share them.

This incident diminishes equity because Toney was not even given a chance. He was pre judged based on the assumptions and prejudices of others who have never even been that close to someone with a diverse ethnicity. He was not initially treated like an individual.

As I mentioned before, I was embarrassed by such comments and I hope that I can try and educate my family to help them make a change in their attitude. Maybe this marriage will be a new start for change. Initially I had some uncomfortable feelings about it because of how I was raised, but thankfully after what I have learned through this course, I was able to look at the relationship differently.

The ones who will need to change in order to turn this incident into opportunity for greater equity is the one who has experienced the pain of prejudice or the ones who observe inequities and want to advocate for change like my neice and her fiance and me. If those who are being oppressed wait for the oppressors to change, then equity will be more difficult.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week I only noticed one micro-aggression at work and that was when some staff members were discussing the hiring of a new coworker. One of my co-workers made the comment that the only criteria she had for the new employee is that she was not old. This was offensive to me because all of my co-workers are in their twenties and early thirties so "old" to them is probably my age. I hear comments like that all the time and it makes me feel hurt and angry that they would judge someone by their age, and that maybe they so not see me as a viable employee because I am a middle age woman.

While reflecting on micro aggressions this week I was able to learn that they happen more often than we think and in many forms and settings. Thinking on my own experiences gave me a glimps of how it might feel to be discriminated against although some forms of prejudice I will never be able to experience. However, they can make me more aware of my own words and actions toward others.

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I spoke with my co-worker Sam who is Mexican, one Early Childhood home visitor Raquel who is Columbian, and my brother-in-law Roy who is European. When I asked Sam about what her definition of Culture was she said it is your surroundings, what has brought you to who you are, and your actions. I then asked her what diversity meant to her and she said that diversity is found within a culture, it is not just about race but is about the region.

I asked Raquel what her definition of culture was and she said it is family differences; some do not talk much, some do not share their feelings openly, it is about how they discipline, traditions, food, language, lifestyle, independence, interdependence, values, and immunizations. Her definition of diversity is how people are different, their color, language, and their teaching of values.

Roy said culture was a persons ethnicity and foods.
To him, diversity meant differences that are accepted of others; just a way of life.

The aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied which are included in the answers I received are foods, language, migration, values, and showing emotion.
The aspects that have been omitted in my answers are holidays, artifacts, costumes, family relationships, work, housing arrangements, community connections, intergenerational relationships, ideas about education, recreation, health care, role of children, religion, gender roles, and historic events.

Talking to others about their definition of culture and diversity has given me a broader view of the words as well as reiterated what the text has shown as definitions. It has made me think about areas of culture that I had not thought about like interdependence; when a family spoon feeds their children until they are around 5 years old or so.

Like Roy, I too had originally thought culture was just about ethnicity, food, holidays, and costumes. I now know that there are many more aspects that are involved in defining culture and diversity.

My Family Culture

If I were to be evacuated to another country and I could only take three items with me that would be tough. I really do not have too many "things" that would represent my culture that I would find important enough to take.

Most of the things that I hold dear are not physical things, but traditions, my beliefs, practices and my religion. They are with you no matter where you are. One of the most important things to me would be my family, and they would already be going with me. So, if I had to choose 3 things I would choose my Bible, extended/current family pictures, and a cross necklace that my husband got me. I really do not have anything from my mother or extended family that has been passed down.

My Bible would be important to me because it is apart of my heritage and it would be important for me to pass that on to my children. My Great Grandparents came to the United States as Russian/Mennonite immigrants looking for Religious/political freedom. My grandfather was a Mennonite but he married my grandma who was not apart of the society that he grew up in, so that generation is basically where the way of life started to die off. Most of the traditions got lost because my grandmother refused to learn the German language so my mother was only taught a few words from her father. We still have some of the traditional foods on the holidays but that is mostly as far as it goes.

The pictures speak for themselves because I would want to remember the faces and have memories of my family and the things we did together. The necklace would be important because it was a special gift and it represents two relationships that are important to me.

If I were told I could only keep one item It would make me feel like a part of my only heritage was being stripped away. It would be difficult to leave two of the items but I would definitely keep the Bible because it means the most to me.

Insights I have gained about myself include realizing that my family culture is less about "things" and more about what I stand for and believe about my heritage. These are the things that I pass on to my children and they can not be taken away. I also found out that my family culture is not that strong in passing down tangible items but the focus is more on tradition and spiritual aspects. I have also learned how difficult and scary it must be for families who are here as first generation immigrants. They should be able to hang on to their culture of origin.

When I think of research.....

I now consider that not all reseaerch is valid. I used to think that if an article said it had valid statements to back up its claim then it was valid research. I now know that this is not the case, research has many criteria that it must meet in order to be credible.

My ideas about the nature of research have changed since the beginning of class because I am more educated on what constitutes valid research. In conducting research I am not as anxious in some ways because I know there are many things to consider when doing research but I am more comfortable in the process.

Lessons that I have learned about planning, designing, and coducting research is that planning is important and equity and social justice should be considered from the start. Design is important as there are different styles to consider depending on the goal of your research. There are lessons to consider when conducting research because if equity issues are not addressed your research could become invalid.

Challenges that I encountered were mostly in the beginning. Once I was able to get my research question to work then it was smoother. I also had several extraneous variables to consider in regards to how my reseaech would avoid bias and social groupings to name a few. I rectified these issues by using self-reflexivity to minimize biases.

My perceptions about the early childhood profession have been modified in the fact that I have learned how ever changing this profession is, and that it is more complex than I previously thought. I had no idea that research was a cultural invention of the white Western male upper middle-class society. Learning all of this has made me more leery of the validity of research that I read so I have learned to test and check all research before believing.

Research Around the World

I chose the website Early Childhood Australia at www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/

Play based learning as opposed to teacher directed learning seems to be a hot topic as well as the affects of bush fires on children. The article on play based learning talked about how children learn best by practicing new skills that build on what they already know, and puts the focus on content instead of how the lesson is delivered. This is exactly what we have learned about children.

I learned information about studies on cortisol in children who attend quality programs vs those who do not. Studies actually show that the cortisol level of children in low quality programs is higher than those who attend higher quality programs. In some instances children in low quality programs may thrive because the program is actually better that their home environment.

I also learned that some countries such as Sweden and Britain are giving paid parental leave because through studies they have found that this is the most equitable and best value economically for all. It all came about because of a study in Canada where money was dumped into building more centers and only charging families $5.00 a day to try and help out dual income families afford to continue to work. What they found is that children were more hyperactive, inattentive, and aggressive, as well as had loss of gross motor skills, social skills and higher illness. The study found that children were worse off than their peers who stayed at home. Furthermore, the families suffered too as parent-child relationships deteriorated and there was an increase in depression rates among mothers. Canada was so horrified by the corporate chain profit model of child care that dominates in Australia that there is legislation proceeding to ban public money being given to these companies.

The results of this study led others like Britain to follow the Swedish model and offer paid parental leave also which was found to be the most equitable way and the best value for money. The article ends with saying that it is what is best for babies. "Love, after all, can't be bought".